Dating sober women
I’ve taken Prozac since the age of 11 for depression and anxiety and, while I lost my virginity at 16, .
I didn’t start masturbating until 21 and, by the time I could legally drink, I felt like a teenage boy riding the puberty rollercoaster.
I told them how I’d only been in relationships with men before and how I drank to cope with my suppressed sexuality, along with the agoraphobia stemming from my parents’ medical battles.
I nearly choked on my own vulnerability but they looked me in the eyes and said, “Bonnie, I am honored to be sitting here with the person you are today.”It was an acknowledgment of my past — a confused straight girl who beat up her liver — and I’ve never felt judged for my wildly inappropriate stories, such as finishing other people’s wine glasses left for the busser at a restaurant (yes, I did that).
All of the people I dated were respectful but they seemed legitimately terrified to drink in front of me as if I would start shouting Bible verses at them or start foaming at the mouth the second a mojito touched their lips.
When I first met my current partner, they didn’t drink for our first several dates.
I occasionally succeeded in this task, and by success, I mean I could brown out just enough so I could drowsily close my left eye — astigmatisms are a drinker’s enemy — and view a world not trying to constantly attack me.I proceeded to get blackout drunk, stole a pitcher of IPA, and told him to drive me to his house.My final memory of that night is holding the sloshing pitcher between my two legs in the front seat of his car. This romantic evening turned into a five-year relationship that ended when I was 27.They were also acknowledging my preceding journey: Years of therapy, dismantling a relationship, and white-knuckled sobriety that left me questioning my existence at times.Finally, it was an acknowledgment of the present: Sitting on the back steps of a 100-year-old duplex on a humid July evening, openly queer, La Croix in hand, the cicadas humming along to the beginning of a wild and new love story.