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But turning your dating profile into a laundry list of complaints isn’t going to get you what you want; at best it’s going to make you sound like a whiny baby, and at worst it’s going to make you sound like a huge racist. You sound like a bad Lifetime movie boyfriend, not a reasonably dateable person.It may be true that your interests are 69, anal, ass, bikini babes, masturbating, porn, vaginas and the beach.I spend lots of time in this column and over at A(n)nals of Online Dating documenting the worst of the worst internet daters. But there are also some really good ones — and some mediocre ones that could be so much better if not for rookie mistakes.So, welcome to Internet Dating Bootcamp, where I'll teach you how to trick unsuspecting users into thinking you’re actually cool and normal. You need to be you in your online dating profile, but the process of creating one is a good time to think about what kindergarten teachers call “being your best self at school.” If you’re attracted to Type-A go-getter types who get up at 6am to exercise, emphasize your similar love of hard work. Want someone who shares your taste for obscure French films? No, not everyone wants to date a carbon copy of themselves, but most of us want to be with someone with some overlapping interests.And why do you, a 23-year-old, want to date someone who could technically be your father if 16 & Pregnant had existed in the 70s? And also realize that while relationships with large age differences can of course be happy and successful, there is usually something wrong with a person who refuses to engage romantically with anyone in their peer group, and instead seeks out a relationship that will involve serious differences in experience and power.Don’t be the guy who every girl is like, “There’s something wrong with that guy.” Yes, we’ve all been burned while dating, and we all have loooooong lists of things we don’t want in a partner.That photo where your skin looks all glowy and you can’t see your cankles? But the photo from 6 years, 25 pounds and two high-stress jobs ago?
Also, your photos send a message beyond “me IRL.” They reflect your taste and your judgment.
Too-soon too-intense over-sharing honesty (you’re experimenting with a new anti-depressant and it’s not going so well; your last breakup was devastating and now you hate all men and can’t have sex without bursting into tears; you sometimes find yourself sexually aroused by water buffalo) is not.
And while online dating can be a great way to meet folks who share your particular sexual preferences or fetishes, tread carefully and remember that your actual face is attached to the information you’re putting up.
This is, unsurprisingly, pretty strongly gendered: There are tons of men who are, say, 36, and list their dating age range from 20 – 35, or women who are 28 and list their dating age range from 29 – 44.
If you really won’t date someone your own age (or a few years older or younger), ask yourself what’s going on when you, a 35-year-old grown-ass man, feel like you would have more in common with a woman who just reached legal drinking age than with a woman two years your senior, who is much more likely to be in a similar place career- and experience-wise.
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The information which you will be furnishing on your profile should be true.